Family Lifestyles

The Bible offers a number of lifestyles for the family, and He is willing to help men and women make the best choice.

I have been a born again Christian since 1976 and during that time I have listened to and sorted out many of the teachings put forth as God’s will for His people.

Some of those teachings caused me intense personal anxiety until I was able to sort out the facts.  One of them in particular caused me to be indecisive for several years.  It is taught by some that there is a perfect will of God and if you miss that perfect will, you will end up in God’s permissive will.  If you end up in God’s permissive will you will not fulfill your destiny, nor enjoy God’s greatest blessings. You may end up on the bottom rung on the ladder to heaven.

Thankfully I was a serious student of the Bible, so I came to the point where I was confident in God’s love for me, and that salvation was a gift to be received not a position to be earned. 

At that point, I knew I was loved by God, but I was still haunted by the idea that I could miss God’s perfect will for my life. Thankfully, I was able to settle that issue.

At the second Bible College I attended, one of the professors stood out to me.  He was an older man who had enjoyed his Christian experience for years. He was respected by everyone on campus. On a number of occasions he talked about being content with God’s will for his life.  At that time I was still being troubled about missing God’s perfect will for my life, so I went to him about this fear I had. That fear was making it hard for me to make decisions about the direction for my life.

When I sat down with him and poured out my heart, he recognized that I was really troubled by this misconception.  He told me, “David, the way I understand Romans 12:2 is that because we have accepted the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we are in God’s perfect will. At the same time, we are in God’s permissive will, that is He delights in our making decisions for our lives.  For example, Do we go to college nor not go? Are we to get married? Do we have children or not?  Am I supposed to marry this person or that person? God is always willing to help us make the best decisions; we can trust Him for help.”

When I left his office I left that nagging fear behind. From that day to this one, I know I am in God’s perfect will for my life: I am born again. Since that day, I have been free to make decisions about my life, good or bad, right or wrong, and God has always been there to help me.  The more time I spent listening to Him by reading the Bible, the more good decisions I made, but when I didn't go to Him for wisdom, I made wrong decisions.  Even when making wrong decisions I was always in God’s perfect will for my life: I am included in Christ and sealed with His Holy Spirit – Ephesians 1:13,14; 2 Corinthians 1:21,22; 1 Corinthians 1:30,31.

So what does that have to do with family lifestyles? Everything! 
The Bible presents a number of family lifestyles, which one is best for you?  You need to know that a particular family lifestyle is not God’s perfect will, you being born again is God’s perfect will.  You choosing the lifestyle that works best for you is God’s permissive will. In other words, you get to choose and He is willing to help you make the best choice!  He delights in you making decisions for your own life. 

  •  Do you want to be married or not?  That’s your decision!
  •  Would it work best for you if the wife is the family provider or the husband?  That’s your decision!
  • Do you want to be a “traditional family” where the man and woman fulfill roles: he is the provider and the woman is a stay at home mom?  That’s your decision!
  • Do you want to be married but both of you pursue your separate careers and have no children? That’s you decision!
  • Do you want to be single and give you life to the Lord’s service? That’s your choice!  Matter of fact, the Lord’s service can include many various opportunities. Maybe it will involve being a dedicated professional who is a shinning light in that field.

One thing is certain: God loves variety!  With Him one choice does not fit all! He tells us, “Each one should use whatever gift he or she has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in it VARIOUS FORMS” –1 Peter 4:10.

Years ago, I came to the place that when people around me try to press their lifestyle on me as God’s perfect will, I walk away because I know God’s gives us preferences and we get to choose.  God promises to guide us, instruct us, counsel us, and watch over us as we make our choices.  God is out to bless us not condemn us!

There are several family lifestyles for us to choose from:

  • Single life devoted to the service of the Lord
  • Some are born eunuchs, for more information click here
  • Married with the wife as the provider – A Noble Wife: click here
  • Traditional family life – man is the provider, wife is a stay at home mom
  • Married, no children

Although, I must tell you that “same sex” marriage is not God’s will! We will not discuss that, but you can open a Bible and read Romans 1:18-32 for God’s discussion on that matter. Be warned: That is not an “obscure verse in the Bible” as some would claim.

Follow the links above to read an explanation of those various family lifestyles.

There is a negative side to choosing your own family lifestyle: If your choice does not fit with the lifestyle accepted by those around you, they will try to prove that your choice is wrong.

Your response needs to be: “This is my life, I’m not going to change for you or anyone else. There is no more to be said about this!”  And walk away.  You cannot compromise, if you do, it will cost you a happy life blessed by God -- 1 John 3:1. 

Never forget that Jesus Christ is always interceding for you, never against you Christian – Hebrews 7:25.  If you need God’s wisdom, ask for it, He’ll gladly give it to you – James 1:5-8.

You have to be strong in your convictions and brave in the face of opposition.  Don't let people pressure you into making decisions!

An Invitation: In case some of you have not accepted God's free gift of eternal life you still  can. If you haven't accepted God's free gift yet, but you would like to, simply pray this prayer: Jesus Christ, I believe you are the Son of God and that you died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins.  I admit that I'm a sinner; please cleanse me of my sins and come into my life.  I want to be born again.  Please show me how real you are.  And baptize me with the Holy Spirit; I want the power to live a new life.  Thank you for accepting me.

If you are still a skeptic, you can pray this prayer: "God, I'm a skeptic, if all of this is true about Jesus Christ help me understand so that I can accept it. Help me receive the gift of New Birth your purchased for me."  

If you want to know more about what Jesus Christ has done for you and is willing to do for you click here

To read more about the gift of eternal life  click here.

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