Today, 5/29/11, I was doing some keyword searches and it occurred to me search the keyword “adultery.” I was surprised by the amount of searches done on this topic.  I read a number of the articles and found two that I thought were helpful, so I am going to pass this information along to you.


One article is titled “Why you don’t have to have sex to cheat.” This article is excerpted from M. Gary Neuman’s book Emotional Infidelity, copyright 2001.  I’ve spent years helping couples pool their energies toward each other, and it has changed their marriage immediately. Stop all the other outside relationships and bring all your emotional and sexual energy home to your spouse, and you will change your marriage immediately.  I think he’s right!


This excerpt points out that you don’t have to have sex with anyone to be unfaithful. Emotional infidelity is just as destructive to a marriage.  Flirting, emails, Facebook, Twitter, texting, hanging out with cute guys or girls, hoping it’s all out of sight.


Some think flirting is just innocent fun. It’s not innocent! Flirting leads to emotional ties. The longer you flirt or allow someone to flirt with you, the stronger the emotional ties become, and before you know it, you’re in a relationship that will cause great harm.


There are such things as “soul ties.” Emotions are part of your soul, not your spirit or mind.  Soul ties are knots in a rope, the more you pull on them the tighter they become.  Have you ever had a relationship from the past keep coming to mind and you feel strong emotion towards him or her? Your emotional attachments can reach back a long way. Those emotional ties you may now be creating with someone may become a tight knot in your soul, and without fail it will hurt your marriage.


Do you want your marriage? Or have you given your emotional tie to someone else? Marriage is the willingness to relate to a member of the opposite sex with an intimacy felt with no one else. There is no such thing as a marriage getting stale or growing cold, it’s about you and what you are allowing to happen with your emotions. When you let your emotions reach out to someone other than your spouse, the intimacy you are supposed to share with your spouse will naturally grow cold.  It’s all about your emotions and what you do with them.


How to you know if you are being unfaithful?

This excerpt offers this list:

·       Do you discuss all of your work problems or important issues with co-workers or others, and when you get home you don’t want to talk about them with your spouse.

·       You go out alone for lunch or after work with others of the opposite sex?

·       Do you enjoy flirting? Do you have your desires on someone particular, someone you are trying to attract? Do you want to spend more time with that person?

·       Do you spend more time buying the right gift for someone other than your spouse?

·       Do you share intimate issues about yourself or marriage with someone of the opposite sex?

If you are doing any of these things you are being emotionally unfaithful.


Here is another article I found about adultery: “46 clues your spouse is having an affair.”

1)    You find birth-control pill in her medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy.

2)    Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. They either know about the cheating or have been about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you have.

3)    He stops confiding in you and stops seeking advice from you.

4)    Sets up a new email-account and doesn’t tell you about it.

5)    He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spirit and comes home smelling like Safeguard.

6)    She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7)    She buys a cell phone and doesn’t let you know.

8)    He sets up a separate cell phone account that billed to his office.

9)    He carries condoms, and you’re on the pill

10)  Begins to delete all income phone calls from caller ID.

11)  Deletes all income e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12)  He becomes accusatory, asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13)  Raises hypothetical questions such as: “Do you think it’s  possible to love more than one person at a time?”

14)  He buys himself new underwear

15)  He insists the child seat, toys, etc, are kept out of his car

16)  She stops wearing he wedding ring

17)  Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry

18)  Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back

19)  Suddenly wants to try new love techniques

20)  He/she suddenly stops having sex with you

21)  He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often

22)  Suddenly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub

23)  Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house

24)  You find out by accident he or she took vacations days off, but as far as you knew he or she worked those days

25)  Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music

26)  Spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence

27)  Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance

28)  Spends excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you go to bed

29)  He throws up a lot because he at dinner at his mistress’s house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30)  Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more often

31)  His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on his shirt

32)  The amount of money being deposited in your checking account drops off

33)  You find items of intimate apparel or small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse

34)  Your charge card accounts keep going up. Or you find a bill from a charge card that is no in your name.

35)  Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is touch and easily angered.

36)  You get calls where the caller hangs up when you answer the phone

37)  He/she loses attention in the activities at home

38)  He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home

39)  Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right

40)  She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone and hangs up quickly

41)  She has a glow about her

42)  A typical erratic behavior

43)  He sneaks out of the house

44)  She sleeps with her purse by the bed

45)  She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later

46)  He tells you to get a hold of him at a different phone number


If you consider yourself to be a Christian, keep this fact in mind: “Nothing in ALL creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” – Hebrews 4:13.


That means every thought you think, every desire in your heart, ever attitude lurking in your soul, every word you say, and everything you do is in full of view of God.  God says: “Marriage should be honored by ALL, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer/adulteress and ALL sexually immoral” – Hebrews 13:4.


And you cannot call sin “Love.”  God calls adultery sin throughout the Bible.  Keep this in mind: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A person reaps what he or she sows. The one sows to please the sinful nature from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit of God, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” – Galatians 6:7-8.


No one needs any more reason than what is listed above to break off that sinful, adulterous relationship and then begin to rebuild your marriage.  You are going to have to ask God to purify your soul from the unrighteous ties you allowed to form in your soul. They must be broken because a sould tie is spiritual bondage and will hold you captive to that illicit relationship.


Much love,

Rev. David


P.S. If you’re interested in finding out about “soul ties” there is a chapter on that subject in this book: Seduction Exposed: the spiritual dynamics of relationships. Gary L. Greenwald @ 1988. You can get a copy here:

God has a future for you my friend and it all starts here: 

An Invitation: If you haven’t accepted God’s free gift of forgiveness yet, but you would like to experience the New Life He promises, simply pray this prayer:  “Jesus Christ, I choose to believe you are the Son of God and God’s only sacrifice for the forgiveness of my sins. I admit it, I’m a sinner, please forgive my sins, and I ask you to come into my life, I want to be born again. Save me Jesus.  I don't understand it, but please save me Jesus.  Please show me how real you are! Also baptize me with your Holy Spirit; I want everything you have for me. Thank you for accepting me.”


If you’re a skeptic you can pray a prayer like this: “God, if  this is true about Jesus Christ and a new life, please help me understand so that I can accept your gift of eternal life that you purchased for me by the sacrifice of Your Son.”


God wants to lavish His grace and love upon your life, for more information go here my friend:



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